Home of the Malaysian Grand Prix
Saturday
I have to confess, I’m not a lover of Friday night international football. One game and that’s your lot, compared to a Saturday where you could get two, or three or even four. Image may be NSFW.
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What a waste!
There was one game scheduled for Saturday, or should I say rescheduled. Snow did for Northern Ireland’s game against Russia in Belfast on Friday night, and with no ease in the conditions, forced the cancelation of the tie again 24-hours later. Drat.
I must admit, the only consolation was the fact that I did have a good chuckle at this fixture being postponed. There was just something hugely ironic that the Russians, who arrange their domestic season so they miss this kind of weather, should find themselves snowbound in Belfast of all places.
Sunday
The Malaysian Grand Prix was a strange one, mainly because there was more action after the chequered flag than there was during the race. World champion Sebastian Vettel won, but only after the German disobeyed Red Bull team orders and overtook his Aussie team-mate Mark Webber. Webber wasn’t chuffed, team boss Christian Horner wasn’t happy either. Image may be NSFW.
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And Vettel was so full of remorse, he issued an apology for taking maximum points, although no matter how you read his excuse note, it only appeared to further rub Webber’s nose in a bull’s other bi-product.
If the 1-2 was ‘fixed’ (by Vettel), the third/fourth place joust was a non-contest as well, as Lewis Hamilton was given a clear run to the podium as Nico Rosberg was told to back off.
Team orders in motor sport are nothing new. In rallying for instance, Lancia often turned the final few miles of world championship events into a car park as they stage-managed the finishing order. And how could we forget Colin McRae’s fury when he was instructed to hold station behind Carlos Sainz in Spain with the 1995 world title in his sights. In F1, it’s even more common place. The 1982 French Grand Prix was a triumph for Renault and for Rene Arnoux, who won ahead of countryman and team-mate Alain Prost, despite the latter believing his colleague should have ceded the win to him. Arnoux, not surprisingly, said there had been no such arrangement, and so took the top step on the podium having ‘missed’ various signal boards from his team.
But surely racing is all about the contest? Well no, not really.
It’s all about gaining as many points as possible for the team, and as much publicity for the brand and sponsors as can be had. And that should never be threatened, not just because it’s unprofessional, but because it can be hugely embarrassing, as Toyota well remember from the British Grand Prix round of the British Touring Car Championship in 1993. I mean, how could anyone have predicted this happening (forward to around the 5 minute mark for the real action).
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Susie Wolff
Racing Driver
This is why team-mates shouldn’t race – regardless of how hilariously funny it might be to the neutral …
Sunday’s high-speed viewing concludes on BBC Scotland with Driven: The Fastest Woman in the World, a profile of Scot Susie Wolff who has gone from Mercedes driver in the German Touring Car Championship (although I always thought Deutsche Tourenwagen Meisterschaft sounded more, eh, manly) to test driver with F1 team Williams. A fantastic achievement, and the plaudits are well deserved, although I do wonder if maybe the billing for this show was slightly OTT, given Danica Patrick’s prowess on racetracks around America?
Monday
5.00pm is supposed to be the deadline today for Dunfermline Athletic to cough up £134,000 to HMRC, or face possible liquidation.
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Sammy the Tammy
Dunfermline Athletic Mascot
As it happens, the deadline is extended for another 24 hours, when voluntary administration is sought to stave off liquidation.
It’s a worrying time for all concerned at the club, from coaching staff, to players, to those who do everything from washing the kits, to cutting the grass, to even dressing up for a living. And we’re talking tank-driving Sammy the Tammy here. Several years ago, during a quieter moment of summer, a former colleague of mine decided to do a story about club mascots. Having left a message at East End Park, a call eventually came back into to the office.
“Can I say who’s calling?”
“Aye, tell him it’s Sammy the Tammy …”
The vision of someone sitting in a costume, on a Tuesday morning, with a phone stuck to his ear, was just too much. It still is …
Tuesday
Scotland lose 2-0 to Serbia and so exit the World Cup, with still four group qualifying games remaining. We won’t be flying down to Rio, just like we didn’t fly to Japan or South Korea, to Germany, Image may be NSFW.
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or South Africa. Maybe I owe an apology to former Welsh internationalist Mickey Thomas for doubting his foresight and knowledge. Statistically, logically, this probably is the worst Scotland team of all time. Maybe I just didn’t want to admit it.
Or maybe I just didn’t want to admit that someone whose biggest claims to fame were that he once served time for counterfeiting, and that he was also (once) stabbed in the backside by his former brother-in-law as he got to know his former brother-in-law’s wife a bit better, could be so right about our national side …
In terms of pointers as to why our national side might be so poor currently, for me the thing that sticks out more than most was the fact Derek Rae included in his commentary on ESPN, that Alan Hutton was the only player to have played in every minute of every qualifying game. A guy who had to leave Aston Villa, where he couldn’t get a game, and head for Spain just to play while on loan. Hutton isn’t solely responsible for Scotland’s plight. But his national service says so much about our current malaise.
Wednesday
Just when you think football might accept some technology to assist officials, so another excuse is schemed up by those on high to distance themselves from electronic gadgetry. This time UEFA Image may be NSFW.
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president Michel Platini says goal-line technology is too expensive for use in the Champions League.
“It would cost around 54 million euros (£46m) over five years for this technology, so it’s quite expensive for the sort of mistake which happens once every 40 years,” he said.
Tell that Michel, to Frank Lampard or Leigh Griffiths. As for his £46m price tag for one mistake, isn’t that just drawing parallels with Fernando Torres?
Thursday
Former Dundee director Giovanni di Stefano (left) is sentenced to 14 years in jail after being convicted on 25 charges including deception, fraud and money laundering between 2001 and 2011. Image may be NSFW.
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Di Stefano committed the series of frauds on “desperate and vulnerable victims” having tricked them into thinking he was a real lawyer. You mean he wasn’t? Actually, one of Mirror Group’s in-house lawyers once doubted his credentials to me. But then, why would he lie?
Does that mean that he also lied about his client and Christmas card list which he claimed (at one time) included the likes of Arkan, the Serbian warlord, Yasser Arafat, Gerry Adams and Saddam Hussein. He also claimed he admitted Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin. As I’ve said previously in this column, he didn’t see the funny side of it when the Miirror mocked up the Dens Park directors box with di Stefano surrounded by that motley crew.
In his defence however, the Italian fantasist did say he though Alex Salmond was a fine man who should lead Scotland to independence. Is it too much to ask to see that on a campaign poster before September next year?
Friday
It’s Good Friday. Actually a great Friday for former Scotland boss Craig Levein who has agreed compensation from the SFA who relieved him of his duties last November. An SFA statement said: “A mutually acceptable settlement has been reached for an undisclosed sum.” Whatever the sum, and whatever the contractual obligations, it’s still a reward for failure …
Only in Scotland.