By Stewart Weir
Saturday
I’m always suspicious of anyone who lists Grumpy Old Men amongst their must-view TV programmes. A bunch of guys moaning how things are not as good as they were and complaining about today’s version of events. I love it.
Watching three Six Nations rugby internationals (which, to be honest, would have been far better than seeing six Three Nations ties) I couldn’t help but think things were better a while back. In fact, not such a while back.
France vs Scotland was okay if you like poor defence, and five minutes of the Italy vs Ireland game when the hosts looked like springing a last-gasp surprise – was exciting. But for the most part, this was dull.
I’ve had the argument several times. That today’s game is played by faster, fitter men, that teams employ defence coaches to stop the opposition playing, and that tactical substitutes mean teams are able to change their game plan when the opposition show signs of weakness.
All compelling reasons to switch off. Brian O’Driscoll would be a "player" in any generation. But better than Mike Gibson?
Fitter, yes. And these boys are impressive in the gym. But being able to do another ten squats or bench-press 300 lbs doesn’t mean a damn if you can’t tackle a fish supper or side-step a bus shelter.
And as for defence, if I want to see rugby league-style flat-line cover, I’ll watch rugby league which is faster, more fluent, and is played more with ball in hand.
I grew up loving Andy Irvine’s cutting, dashing style, racing into the great unknown where he regularly went from hero to zero and back again, often on the same run. And now, Scotland have a full-back called Hugo …
Sunday
Visiting TV land again, there was once an American sitcom which rounded up off the weekly plot line with; “Confused? You will be after this week’s episode of Soap!”
Sunday’s Old Firm game had me head-scratching again. In recent times, the authorities in Scotland have worked hard to stamp out sectarianism. Trench foot amongst Rangers fans is at an all time low (in public at least), having not had to wade through blood up to their knees since legislation prohibited use of the "F" word.
The confusion for most people is that while they hear and see the measures taken to stamp out this offensive language, it appears to be one side of the great divide who are held in check.
The "N" word, once in regular use when referring to the black community, or brown when it came to shoe or furniture colour, is not outlawed, almost entirely by public opinion.
And rightly so, although I stop short of those who would have Guy Gibson’s dog written out of the history books. In fact, some would have the VC-winning aviator expunged from the records for flying a plane dangerously and causing flood damage.
Where confusion reigns is when the ‘N’ word is used by sections of the black population, a mixture between a term of endearment and a badge of honour.
I might be mistaken, but that also appears to operate amongst Celtic fans.
On Sunday, unfurled at Ibrox, was a banner proclaiming “Paddy McCourt’s Fenian Army”. A few people I spoke to, there not as supporters of either club but as sponsors' guests, pointed it out asking if that wasn’t "a bad word these days".
And that’s where a bit of the confusion arises. Because what is bad – if not illegal - for one section of society surely has to be bad for another?
But my real confusion was wondering why the two police officers standing directly in front of the said banner didn’t see it, or act. I would suggest a trip to Specsavers, but they might not see the bus to take them there.
Monday
The Americans would have you believe that the Super Bowl is the greatest show on earth, the climax to the NFL season and this year contested between eventual winners Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers.
The certainly know how to put on a show or several, from the F22 to-the-second fly past to the Black Eyed Peas' half-time performance, all watched by a record TV audience.
It was supposed to be a record stadium audience as well at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, but they fell 766 short of the 103,985 who viewed the 1980 final at the Rosebowl, Pasadena.
And thereby hangs the tale. For Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and the NFL corporation are now being sued by fans who paid $100,000 for season tickets but didn’t get a seat for the Super Bowl.
Stadium works meant that they didn’t get to see the climax of the NFL season. And the one thing you don’t do in the most litigious nation on the planet is make promises you can’t keep.
Instead of prime, line-of-sight seats, those who turned up were handed folding chairs. Had that happened in this country, the world chair flinging record would have been broken several times over, followed by various visits to the Sheriff Court.
But in Texas, some individuals went straight to the federal court to seek $5 million in damages – oh, which can be tripled under the State’s trade laws.
Somewhat in excess of the NFL’s attempted compensation of $2,400 – triple the ticket’s face value – and a ticket for next year’s Super Bowl, which was then added to with the offer of a ticket to any future Super Bowl, plus return air fares and hotel accommodation.
There will be a middle-ground to be had in this case. Probably $4.9 million and a pair of tickets for every future Super Bowl, plus flights, hotels and the likes. And maybe even a game if you take yir boots ...
Tuesday
A war of words erupts between Blackburn’s unwanted El-Hadji Diouf and Celtic’s "waste of money" Scott Brown over who said what and who had the last laugh after Sunday’s 2-2 Old Firm Scottish Cup draw at Ibrox.
For me, there was only one winner. Brown’s superb equaliser, and his all-round play when Celtic were down to ten men, was inspirational.
Great that we have him playing for Scotland ...
Wednesday
... or not as was the case. Scott Brown is injured in the warm-up at the Aviva Stadium (wonder if they have insurance for that kind of thing), with Celtic boss Neil Lennon seeking clarification if the grass seed had indeed been imported from Senegal.
As for the game, Scotland beat Northern Ireland 3-0 in the Carling Nations Cup in Dublin. Within a second of the final whistle I’ve received a text message proclaiming “The Tartan Army has a spring in its step again.” How easily pleased are some?
The Carling Nations Cup, in terms of meaningless competition, ranks alongside other Mickey Mouse tournaments such as the Kirin Cup.
We haven’t qualified for a major championship since France ’98. So a bit of reality please before we get too euphoric about winning one match in a kick-about series against equally useless neighbours ...
Thursday
And on the back the Dublin internationals, Wigan manager Roberto Martinez says midfielder James McCarthy faces a "very, very deep" decision on where his international future lies.
Glasgow-born McCarthy, formerly of Hamilton Accies, has played for the Republic of Ireland but not yet in a competitive international, a point not lost on opposition supporters during his time in Scotland.
I’ve never changed my views on this. McCarthy has already made his choice.
I felt the exact same with Dominic Matteo, Dumfries-born, but who chose to represent England at under-21 level. He didn’t progress to full-international status until Scotland rescued him – and then we were the only country he ever wanted to play for.
Why take other nations cast-offs when we have dozens of our own ...
Friday
There is a bit more clarity over what might happen to the Olympic Stadium (I am thinking of starting a Facebook campaign to have it called the "Alf Tupper Memorial Stadium") after the 2012 Games with West Ham’s bid winning favour from the Olympic Park Legacy Company executives.
The OPLC board like West Ham’s option – ahead of Spurs – as they would keep the athletics track. Or at least that’s the plan this week.
West Ham have more important things on their mind currently, like avoiding relegation along with Wolves, Wigan and West Brom with any three from four favourites to head down and out.
Relegation ready-made for online and the internet - W, W, W drop ...
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