Glastonbury being what it is, you can find somewhere to go and watch Wimbledon on one of the big screens, or even catch Rod Laver – he juggles ping-pong balls and will be at the Circus Big Top, Saturday 4:30pm.
You can track down a veggie burger, try your hand at an open mic slot, attend a guide on how to read a natal chart, turn on and tune in on the BBC coverage or drop out – in which case this piece is of limited use to you.
Some musicians are also present. Here are ten acts you may wish to catch, either live or on the wee box in your living room:
1 – The Vaccines (The Other Stage, Friday 2:50pm – also on the John Peel Stage, Sunday 5:45pm)
If you fancy a skinnier, indier British band than the arena-dwellers over at the main stage, here’s one of the more plausible Next Best Things.
2 – Ed Sheeran (BBC Introducing Stage, Friday 7:30pm)
Because not many acoustic singers from Norfolk are championed by Jamie Foxx, Wiley (and Jo Whiley), Elton John and Rio Ferdinand. Because he wanted to break James Morrison’s boast of having played 200 gigs and so played 312 times in 2009. Or just because he’s pretty good.
3 – U2 (Pyramid Stage, Friday 10pm)
The stadium overlords split opinion in the way Moses split the Red Sea – with a whole load of gush, some Old Testament thunder and hundreds upon thousands in attendance.
Will the advertised Bono 2.0, with his clean bill of health, show any signs of medical wear’n’tear? Will they open with Where the Streets Have No Name or a song from the Spiderman musical? And if they’re not to your taste, will you bring rotten fruit and pass it to those turning up to protest at Bono’s tax arrangements?
4 – Paolo Nutini (Pyramid Stage, Saturday 6.30pm)
Paisley’s favourite son proved he could handle a headlining berth at RockNess, and now the Eavis family have given Paolo the hospital pass of following man of the moment Tinie Tempah and building up to the choral anthemics of Elbow and Coldplay. He should manage just fine.
5 – Janelle Monáe (West Holts, Saturday 9:15pm)
On just before Big Boi (they have frequently collaborated on record, so you’d be disappointed if there was no team-up here), she has been championed by Prince, P Diddy and the aforementioned 50 per cent of OutKast.
One US critic referred to Monáe as “JB, Prince, MJ, David Byrne, Annie Lennox, and Grace Jones all rolled up in one package” – which may seem outlandish, but not to those who emerged, salivating, after her Glasgow ABC show. Those people were just annoyed that the critic forgot to include Lauryn Hill.
6 – Jamie Woon (West Holts, Sunday 12:45pm)
James Blake (also playing) may have nabbed most of the positive press around dubstep artists called James, but Jamie Woon has many colours to his palate, which indicate a talent worth watching – not just watching at the weekend, but over a long period. Clearly.
7 – The Wombles (Avalon Stage, Sunday 2pm)
It isn’t every day that a band who really made an impact on a music writer’s formative years come to Worthy Farm. My mum tells me that this was my favourite band when I was three years old, and so I’m ignoring the haters like Michael Eavis and will try and synchronise my underground and overground sensors, remembering that there is a Womble in all of us.
8 – Paul Simon (Pyramid Stage, Sunday 4:30pm)
The original Rhymin’ Simon is unlikely to bring Chevy Chase or the springy gingey tall bloke, but what he will bring is 35 years of classic songsmithery to the sleepy old-codger Sunday afternoon slot previously filled by Leonard Cohen, Neil Diamond, Dame Shirley Bassey and Sir Tom Jones.
9 – John Grant (The Park, Sunday 6:30pm)
The former frontman with the Czars signed to Simon Raymonde’s Bella Union records and had Midlake play on and produce his solo album, Queen of Denmark. No less an authority than MOJO magazine declared it the best album of 2010. They had a point.
10 – Beyoncé (Pyramid Stage, Sunday 9:45pm)
She may dazzle, she may disappoint (not everyone is thrilled by her new single), but the idea that someone this ghetto-fabulous could close a festival which 25 years ago was being headlined by the Psychedelic Furs and Level 42 is noteworthy itself.
You can only surmise hubby Jay-Z and dinner-party muckers Mr and Mrs Gwyneth Paltrow put in a positive word. (Unofficial Glasto ambassador Chris Martin also persuaded Springsteen to headline two years ago.) If nothing else, you sense Beyoncé will have more costume changes than Suzanne Vega, who is playing the Acoustic Stage at the same time.
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