- Rupert Murdoch and his son, James, appear in front of Commons culture, media and sport commitee.
- Police are examining papers and a laptop found in a bin near Rebekah Brooks’s home.
- Sun’s website hacked.
- Rupert Murdoch attacked with shaving foam.
It was a sombre occasion. A unique moment in the history of British politics. The great and the good of the most powerful media beast at last brought to book for appalling sins – after an unconvincing campaign of saying “ain’t nobody knowed nuttin”.
Rupert and James Murdoch appeared in front of Commons culture, media and sport commitee to answer probing questions about the phone hacking scandal.
And the highlight was Rupert Murdoch’s missus twatting a guy who tried to attack her old man with a fake cream pie. Well, at least one Murdoch was able to be direct during the session…
For the first time, Rupes – a fit and proper person to control so much of Britain’s media, apparently – appeared in front of MPs to answer questions about his businesses.
But, aside from the sweet right hook of Mrs Murdoch, the star of the show was James Murdoch. He was sadly unable to answer many questions because News International would never wish to interfere with criminal cases or police investigations – aside from those involving murdered teenagers, of course.
When he was able to answer he demonstrated that he was a corporate analinguist of Olympic stature. Murdoch, jun., chuntered away happily, waffling the clock down with choice phrases such as “legal resource”, “quantum of damages” and “within financial parameters from a financial planning perspective”.
Here is a summary of the rest of his evidence:
- Those facts were still in the future.
- Before I was involved.
- I was not involved.
- The individuals involved have left the company.
- No evidence to date that I have seen or have knowledge of.
- I don’t have direct knowledge of that, I apologise.
- I don’t know the answer to that.
- No reason to believe that it was not a settled matter. It was in the past.
- The actions of some reporters, some years ago.
- I don’t recall.
- A matter of huge and sincere regret.
- I have no knowledge uh uh uh and there is no uh uh evidence.
- Could you repeat the question?
Rupert was slightly more forthcoming:
- I can’t answer.
- I don’t know.
- No.
- I've never heard of him.
- That is the first I’ve heard of that.
- I think that my son can answer that better.
- Again, that’s my son’s…
He also added that this was “the most humble day of my life”, whatever the hell that means.
Aside from that it was corporate waffle, stammering and tellling us what we already knew.
We had the odd comic bit of insight into the relationship between father and son. They wore matching grey suits, white shirts and blue ties but James showed his independence by diverging on the key issue of glasses.
James also boldly contradicted his father on how long he had been with News International. Rupert reminded his son of Milly Dowler’s name when it slipped his mind. And they both answered together when asked if there were plans for a replacement for the now defunct
News of the World: “There’s no decision on that.”
While his spawn might be Man at MBA to the bone, the dirty digger remains a spiky bugger. He thumped the table and even managed humour. When asked about the “collective amnesia” of previous evidence of News International executives to MPs, he said: “You’re not really saying amnesia, you’re saying lying.”
You said it, Rupes, not me.
So what have we learned? Well, it seems that James and Rupert Murdoch get paid a fortune for, er, not really knowing what’s going on. Perhaps News Corp’s shareholders might want to think about that…
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