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Weir’s week : Overhead, head-to-head and talking head

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Gattuso By Stewart Weir Saturday And after slating international rugby union last week, and having said about watching rugby league if I wanted to see rugby football played in a certain fashion, do the Welsh not accommodate my every whim by reducing their ranks to just 13 for a time against Scotland at Murrayfield. And guess what? Scotland still couldn’t score a try! Still, it was nice way to celebrate handing coach Andy Robinson a new contract … Sunday Seeing it live, you had to be impressed. Seeing it repeated, it looked even better. No denying Wayne Rooney’s winner in the Manchester derby was special. Goals from overhead kicks are few and far between. Some would say a dying art form in the game. I would say they’ve all-but been killed off by referees who blow up at the first sign of someone lifting their boot above shoulder height. Maybe that’s what made Rooney’s goal so good, the rarity of such an effort. But great as his goal was, by Sunday night and Match of the Day 2, I was beginning to think that it was the only goal ever scored in that fashion. There is a tendency in England to believe that nothing happened on a football field prior to the Premiership or Premier League. It was almost as if football never existed before the great breakaway took place and Sky claimed it as their own. But the Beeb weren’t much better in dissecting every element of Wayne’s winner, right down to giving percentages of how much lace and shin was involved in it. Denis Law was one of the greatest exponents of the overhead or ‘bicycle’ kick. I remember seeing him featured on certain bubble gum football cards performing that skill. And I can’t ever remember his efforts attracting such scrutiny or praise. Similarly Mark Hughes was a bit of an acrobat when it came to scoring goals. And even this season, Dimitar Berbatov – who the last time I looked played alongside Rooney – netted one over the shoulder against Liverpool. And again, none of the post-mortems for those guys. But then, none of them were Rooney … Monday And the horse racing fraternity is still coming to terms with the deaths of Fenix Two and Marching Song, their final moments caught on camera as they were apparently electrocuted in the paddock at Newbury on Saturday. Was that why so many TV news outlets warned viewers that they may find the scenes shocking? Tuesday And out of the blue, the SFA announce that Scotland will play Brazil in a glamour friendly at The Emirates Stadium on the last Sunday in March. Craig Levein said all the right things about the importance (?) of this fixture, except I can’t help think it was conceived by someone in London desperately trying to get some revenue in to the capital’s economy. “What could we try? I know, get the Jocks down for a mad weekend!” The Metropolitan Police will also use the visit as an exercise in how to handle foreign crowds ahead of the Olympics. I loved the way the BBC website reported the story, saying this “will be the 10th meeting between the nations, with Brazil boasting seven wins, while there have been two draws.” So by my reckoning, that means we’ve never beaten the Yellow Cowdenbeath. There’s plenty of spin and hype being applied to this fixture already. But remember, before booking flights and accommodation, no importance or significance can be attached to this game despite what the Scotland boss says. I was fortunate enough to be at the last meeting between the Tartan Army and Samba Babes, interrupted only by one of the aforementioned Brazil victories. That was the World Cup opener way back in 1998. Where have 13 years gone? Probably the same place as qualifying success. I also had the misfortune of witnessing the depressingly end-of-season-we-want-to-go-on-our-holidays-please Rous Cup game between the two in 1987, Brazil winning 2-0 in match where Ian Wilson won one of his five Scotland caps. Ian Who? Former Scotland coach Craig Brown said the Brazilians had three different teams. The first team was the South American side, which played the home games and qualified for World Cups. Then there was the team that went to World Cups and often won them. And then there was the team that wore Brazil shirts and took on friendly games around the world, a team or squad he likened to the Harlem Globetrotters. Guess which one we’ll face in London. So if we do make it tenth-time lucky, it won’t mean a thing … Wednesday For many members of the Scottish fitba press pack, Rino Gattuso has been like one of our own. I will say almost immediately that is entirely to do with him spending some of his formative years with Rangers and not because we are used to producing Champions League and World Cup winners. Whether in person or on the phone, he was always very accommodating when asked for an interview, even if it was, as one erstwhile colleague once said, “a bit like talking to a Cappoci Man who could kick a baw.” It made a bizarre sight then to see Gattuso (less affectionately known by some as ‘The Boy David’) literally going head-to-head with a Scottish institution, namely Spurs coach Joe Jordan, the man who’s goal took us to the 1974 World Cup and who is the only Scot to have scored in three different World Cup Finals tournaments – a record he is likely to keep for all-time. Big Joe – who is actually not as big as you might think – found himself confronted by Gattuso during and after the previous evening’s Champions League tie at the San Siro, when the Italian midfielder appeared to grab the face of Jordan during the game, before head-butting the one-time AC Milan striker after the final whistle. Am I the only person to think that his entire demeanour on the night greatly resembled a certain Diego Maradona when he’d taken too many Smarties? But having been a tube, Gattuso realised the consequences of his actions and got his excuse note out pronto. "I lost control," said Gattuso. "There is no excuse for what I did. I take my responsibilities for that. "I was nervous. We were both speaking Scottish, something that I learned when I played in his home city of Glasgow, but I can't tell you what we said.” Passing over the fact that Jordan is actually a Cleland boy, Gattuso – despite his charitable assistance in the past – deserves everything he gets, which given UEFA’s unpredictability, might be anything from a three-match ban to a lifetime achievement award. Forget Fantasy Football. I just wish we could have had a lean, mean Jordan at his youthful fighting weight going up against the street-fighting Gennaro Geronimo Gattuso. You couldn’t pick a winner there. That aside, you just don’t head-butt people, especially those who are on the sidelines, especially not someone who once donned the same shirt as you, and especially not a 59-year-old and someone old enough to be your dad. But still no-one is still quite sure why Gattuso picked a fight with Jordan. Personally, I don’t believe the line about Gattuso’s family once having their life savings on Wales to win a match at Anfield … Thursday And no sooner has he begun his ten-year ban from international cricket for spot-fixing than Salman Butt lines up a new career as a pundit during the forthcoming Cricket World Cup for Pakistan's Channel 5. Needless to say, the International Cricket Council – who implemented the ban after finding the ex-Test captain guilty at a tribunal – are not best pleased at this development. Channel 5 on the other hand are delighted at this coup. As would any broadcaster be, if they were able to lay claim to be the only station with a commentator who could predict no-balls before they happen … Friday London 2012 organisers are setting up a website checker to allow ticket buyers to verify if the seller is genuine. Games organisers and police are concerned hundreds of bogus websites will spring up when tickets go on sale on 15 March. More than 30 people have been arrested so far in connection with alleged ticket scams related to the Games, Metropolitan Police have said. It never ceases to amaze me just how gullible some folk are when it comes to buying tickets. So I’ve taken up the kind offer from some of our Olympic gold medallists to get me tickets. So I’ll head to London safe in the knowledge that the likes of Glyn Davis, David Emery, Daily Thompson, Sebastian Co, Alan Wales and Steve Overt will get me the best seats in the house …
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