By Stewart Weir
Saturday
They made their big entrance in to the Premier League at the Etihad Stadium – or the City of Manchester Stadium, or Eastlands – but Manchester City’s place, anyway. But it was today that Swansea City (I remember them when they were still a Town) got to parade as big boys in front of their home support for the match with Wigan Athletic.
A day of celebration and some pre-match festivities. So who did they have as their musical treat. The Stereophonics? Manic Street Preachers? Dame Shirley Bassey? Or even Sir Tom Jones (although It’s Not Unusual)?
No. At great expense, the fans got Max Boyce. Remember him?
Proof, if it were needed, that you can take the boyos out of the small league, but can’t take the small league out of the boyos….
Sunday
It is one of those stories that registers at the third or fourth time of reading. But if reports are true (which they turn out to be), Cameroon striker Samuel Eto’o is headed out of Inter Milan for Russian football with Anzhi Makhachkala in a £22 million deal which will make him the best-paid player on the planet.
Eto’o’s (I like writing his name this way as it confuses the hell out of the spellcheck on your PC) contract is worth a staggering £18m a year.
If you do the arithmetic on that, it roughly works out that he is getting paid something like 60p a second.
Now, if, as we are always being told, only takes a second to score a goal, what the hell are they paying him to do the rest of the time?
Monday
Scotland name their Rugby World Cup squad, the biggest story around that concerning the non-inclusion of Glasgow Warriors loose-forward Johnnie Beattie.
So there will be no re-appearance of the "Killer Bs" in New Zealand, the nickname pinned on Beattie and fellow back-rowers John Barclay and Kelly Brown.
The rugby writers reported on the tale, in which there is no sting this time, alluding to Beattie as having been overlooked, omitted, dropped, passed-over, axed and the like.
But surely, in keeping with his status, coach Andy Robinson merely swatted him…
Now wouldn’t be a bad time either (as I was threatened on Twitter) to mention Scots up-and-coming snooker player Anthony McGill.
He’s had a good few weeks with the cue. Good job then that I tipped him on BBC Scotland as our "one to watch" back in April ahead of the World Championship, and before that when he was one of the Highland Spring scholarship boys.
I know my snooker. So I’m just popping out for a triangle or two. Now, where is my hitting stick…
Tuesday
The Carling Cup is a tournament that is seen as nothing more than an inconvenience by some of the bigger clubs and not so bigger teams alike.
A few weeks ago, Sky Sports broadcast Sheffield Wednesday versus Blackpool when both sides elected to field virtually reserve-strength teams. As expected, it ended nil–nil and with penalties.
Liverpool somewhat bucked the trend though by fielding many of their star names as they travelled to Exeter City. Kenny Dalglish’s new-look team is still trying to gel, so Andy Carroll, Charlie Adam and Stewart Downing all had leading roles, As did Luis Suárez.
Having been to similar games in Scotland, with the Old Firm at Stranraer or Arbroath, the arrival of the giants always has that circus-coming-to-town feel, with the hosts always trying to act and behave like Juventus, even if they are more Fray Bentos.
But despite their best efforts, there is always something that just reminds you that they are not in the big league when it comes to the trimmings.
On Tuesday, at the sounding of the final whistle, Liverpool’s extended dugout and bench emptied – but not before one of the locals climbed in, tapped Suárez on the shoulder and asked if he could have his photo taken with him.
Can you imagine how many security, stewards, police and flying fluorescent jackets that stunt would have attracted at Anfield?
But the Uruguayan put his arm around the guy, posed, smiled, and then even asked the happy snapper if he wanted one as well.
Proof again that even if some people are awarded superstar status and multimillion-pound evaluations, they are quite ordinary folks in reality…
Wednesday
Hearts arrive in London ahead of the small matter of trying to overturn a five-goal deficit against Tottenham Hotspur in the Europa League.
Many grounds around the land have stadium entrances designated solely for the away team, signposted "Away Team", "Visitors' Gate" or "Opponents' Entrance". All psychological, trying to make you feel different and a stranger in unwelcoming surroundings.
I wondered then, based on the first-leg runaround, if Spurs had gone out of their way to welcome Hearts to White Hart Lane with a sign that read "All Pedestrians This Way"…
Thursday
Spent a good hour with Aberdeen manager Craig Brown ahead of the Rangers–Maribor game, as he assisted me with some research work I’m doing and having a blether about several things.
I have never had a meeting with "Wee Broon" where I haven’t left more informed or clued-up on football. He is a walking encyclopaedia on soccer, half a century of experience filed away for when it’s needed. Enlightening and hugely entertaining.
But as a manager his time is precious. He was about to chauffeur his assistant Archie Knox to Ibrox to watch this Sunday’s opposition in action, having taken in Ayr United versus Inverness Caley Thistle the previous evening.
And when he wasn’t watching fitba, he was talking about it – inevitably at this time of year to chairmen, chief execs, other managers, agents, player representatives and players about who might be available or affordable before the transfer window slams shut.
Those fans and punters who say managers are not trying to make buys or deals should spend a day watching even the most mild-mannered having their patience stretched.
So Dons fans, you can probably look forward to the arrival of… I wouldn’t do that to Mr Brown!
Friday
Yes. Friday morning feels as bad as Thursday night with Rangers making it a Euro Disaster Double by tumbling out of the Europa League after bombing in the Champions League, Celtic Sion-off by some Swiss outfit, and Hearts exiting 0–5 on aggregate despite gaining some respectability by drawing 0–0 with Tottenham’s Parks XI.
Has there ever been such a low in the Scottish game?
Even politicians have joined in, tweeting away at this disaster. But look on the bright side, at least we have sectarianism under control – which, in football terms, is all that matters to some.
And, who knows, we might have avoided an even more calamitous encounter for Rangers, with their conquerors Maribor drawn against Birmingham City in the group stages. Imagine the impact of the Scottish champions losing out to a newly relegated team from England’s second tier. Small mercies and all that.
But the good news is Celtic could be sneaked in the back door if UEFA kick victors Sion out of the competition for transfer irregularities and breaching UEFA directives.
So it might not be all doom and gloom – until the next time. Imagine the headlines if Celtic get a second bite at the cherry, and choke again.
Might be better just to get over this agony rather than prolong it…
– Tweet Stewart Weir with thoughts and comments, @sweirz
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