By Elizabeth McQuillan
Christmas is the silly season for a great many people, where all normal rules of engagement with the family go awry. Pressures are brought to bear by feuding divorcee parents, overbearing in-laws and sundry ageing relatives to cooperate, fit in and accommodate until the temporal artery pulses with the stress.
If you want to escape the clutches of extended family, and do a selfish runner, it’s actually not too late. Here are some alternative ways to give Christmas the Vs, and go off and do your own thing.
Captains Courageous in India
Riding in Rajasthan has to be about as far away from a traditional Yuletide that you can get. Assuming you have the funds, and can sit a canter (if you don’t know what a canter is, then this trip isn’t for you), spend your days riding on Marwari horses to explore ancient forts, marbled palaces and carved temples.
Special mounts, the Marwari are an indigenous breed descended from the splendid war horses that served the ruling families and warriors of feudal India, from the beginning of the country's history.
Up to six hours in the saddle each day might leave your backside a tad raw, but it’s got to be worth it to view the wildlife and to experience the culture and colour of rural India.
Christmas Day is spent riding to Nawalgarh and visiting the frescoed havelis, with Christmas dinner and an overnight stay in the Roop Niwas Palace. Bonnie, Arun and Vipin are the friendly and knowledgeable guides who make the trip special.
Unicorn Trail’s Christmas Ride in India is £2,929 per person (based on two sharing), and there is still availability on the 2011 departure (21 December – 3 January).
Hot tubbing in the far north-west
Take the kids, and the dog, to the wilds of Achiltibuie, breathe in the salty air and feast on the dramatic Wester Ross scenery. If it’s chucking it down, you don’t even have to step outside, as the architect-designed glass-fronted cottage offers uninterrupted views to the Summer Isles, and the Cuillin of Skye beyond.
Pull on a pair of walking boots and scramble up Stac Pollaidh to work off the plum pudding gut. Or don’t. Alternatively, send the kids out to hunt for chocolate Santas while you imbibe your favourite Christmas tipple reclining in the gurgling outdoor hot tub.
Underfloor heating, a wood-burning stove, sauna and integral entertainment system (TV in each room) should ensure the festive holiday is cosy, intimate and not lacking in luxury. And not one relative in sight.
If you're still not sure, consider this: the famous Summer Isles Hotel and bar is within easy staggering distance.
Stac Polly cottage (sleeps eight) is available from 21 December for a week. The normal rate is £1,595, but with a cheeky £399 reduction to Caledonian Mercury readers, that’s £1,196.
The only gift is a portion of thyself
A lot of folk out there could do with a bit of a hand over the festive period. Close to home there are projects to help the young, elderly, the disadvantaged and the homeless, and each would leap at the chance of some support.
Missing the 4,000-calorie turkeyfest, the gruelling soap-special TV and the family disputes for one Christmas, in order to help others – surely that is embracing the real spirit of things?
If you are blessed with the holidays of an academic, take a month out over Christmas and really give yourself over to a challenge. Outreach International has a few interesting voluntary posts that need filling:
● Care for children at a day centre helping street children in Ecuador, while their parents work on the rubbish dump.
● Volunteer for Coastal Animal Conservation in Mexico. Work with vets, collect injured animals from the beach and generally do as asked.
● Phnom Penh Orphanage in Cambodia could do with some bright and fun individuals to teach the kids English, sports, football and dancing.
● A turtle conservation project in Sri Lanka is perfect for anyone interested in getting involved with marine conservation. Volunteers are needed to patrol the beaches, marking and recording turtle nests. They also teach the local people and tourists about sustainability.
MacSki – and a wee dram or two – over Moray way
Who needs France, Italy, or Austria to enjoy a good festive ski break? Take Hillview, a luxury holiday home that nestles next to the Glenlivet whisky distillery: pleasant, uncramped accommodation with an ample sufficiency of bedrooms for 12 inebriated friends to lay their heads after a tasting session. Add the Cairngorm and Lecht ski resorts, and you have a perfect MacSki holiday.
The absence of guaranteed snow should not detract from the overall enjoyment. Most fair-weather skiers are happy to forgo sleety whiteouts, sheet ice and neck-breaking rocks, windburn and hypothermia on the mountain.
Aviemore is only 30 minutes' drive away and has a selection of pubs and eateries to ease the disappointment if there is no white stuff. Dog-sledding (using a wheeled contraption when there is no snow) through the woods, a squadron of B52s in the bar, reindeer to feed on the hillside and a Christmas Eve torchlit procession through the town all give that authentic ski holiday experience.
Available from 21 December for a week, the normal rate of £1,699 has a Caledonian Mercury reader discount of £425, so getting 12 folk in at £1,274 makes it a comfortingly cheap MacSki week.
Lock thyself in a tower – and dine like royalty
Eschew the whole business of pleasing the family at Christmas and lock yourself away in a keep for the duration. No, really, just get holed up in a stone tower for a whole week and have a fantastically romantic and indulgent time of it.
The Tower at Plane Castle, to the east of Stirling, is a medieval set where you can indulge your medieval fantasies, run around naked in a veil and circlet and joust without risk of intrusion. So much more festive, and fun, than a double-whammy of Eastenders.
Or, I suppose, you could sit in your 13th-century tower and watch the Queen’s speech and read a book.
Best of all, dine like a king and queen at the refectory table in the Great Hall while the carved stone fireplace spits and roars with flame, or head up the spiral staircase to the battlements, and inspect your policies together. From here you can view the Ochils.
Available over Chrismas, the tariff is in the region of £1,600, Friday–Friday.
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