By Stewart Weir
Saturday
It’s cup day, north and south of the border, and oh the romance of it.
But as I tweeted, on the evidence of the Birmingham City–Wolves game in the FA Cup, with empty stands, little thrills and second-string teams, if I served that up as romance I’d be dragged off to relationship counselling.
Still, by the end of the weekend, the FA at least were confident of setting a 30-year high on attendances, although that might have had something to do with how many well-supported clubs had home ties.
For a few years now BBC Radio Scotland have, on Scottish Cup day, gone with what they bill as "Open All Mics". For the unfamiliar, Radio Scotland is to the left of Radio 5 Live on the dial.
Basically, everyone talks over one another, or rather calls out when they’ve got something of importance to tell the nation – or, in the case of one or two, shouts very loudly to say that the goal they were proclaiming was offside.
If it were left to me, I’d add some background effects, like the clinking of glasses, maybe some drinks orders being overheard in the background, or a slot machine paying out.
What seems to be a recipe for a rabble actually works brilliantly well, with Richard Gordon a great host (or should that be licensee?) and the whole programme generating some genuine cup excitement.
Like cricket, where you watch TV but listen to Test Match Special, cup football – between the hours of 2:45pm and quarter past five, is equally well catered for with Sky’s Soccer Saturday accompanied by BBC Radio Scotland …
Sunday
Other than the most diehard Rangers fan (I assume all Arbroath fans were there), or someone from the SFA’s hierarchy (cough, cough, huh hum…), the vast majority of football fans would be tuning in to see the Manchester derby between City and United in the FA Cup.
The prospects of viewing this encounter were assisted greatly by the fact it was on terrestrial, commercial, council telly, with ITV showing the match to all of the country – except Scotland.
We had a programme about red kites from Wales being imported into Ireland, a documentary appearance from Walter Smith, and a James Bond movie while the rest of the UK watched an epic clash at the Etihad Stadium.
Has independence already happened without me noticing?
For those who didn’t know the outcome, look away now, but United triumphed 3–2 against ten-man City – although the headlines started before a ball was kicked with the comeback of Paul Scholes.
Having retired in the summer, he couldn’t see his old mates toil with a lack of form and mounting injuries, so offered his services to Sir Alex, who gratefully accepted.
So Scholes started on the bench, but was introduced in the second half. His short cameo was still being talked about the next day, thanks mainly to some amazing stats around his appearance.
Scholes made 71 passes, with a 97.2 per cent completion rate. Impressive. Well not, actually.
This is a classic example of lies, damn lies and statistics. Anyone can roll a ball a few feet when unchallenged, to an unmarked team-mate, which many (if not the majority) of Scholes' passes were.
What the starts didn’t say that of his 2.8 per cent uncompleted passes, one gave possession away from which City scored their second.
Stats in sport are either tremendously useful, or entirely useless.
It’s like Chris Paterson being, statistically, the best place-kicker in the world – but not winning anything. Or Ian Botham beating Andy Roberts' record at the fastest to 100 Test match wickets, not taking into account that Roberts bowled mostly against top-order batsmen while Botham picked up eight, nine, ten, jack.
Or Neil Lennon having the better of Walter Smith over a season in Old Firm encounters, but the latter retiring with two trophies while Lennon made do with the Scottish Cup.
As I say, statistics in sport are either tremendously useful, or entirely useless – or, at least, 68.71 per cent of them are …
Monday
There is an old saying, especially in football, about never going back, that it will never be as good second-time around.
Some people have disproved that theory – but they are, on the whole, in the minority.
It’s early days yet, but if first impressions are anything, then Thierry Henry is one who doesn’t go with the accepted flow.
On as substitute against Leeds United, it took the Arsenal legend just 10 minutes to show the reasons why there is a statue of him outside the stadium.
Henry coolly slotted the only goal of the game, as he had done 226 times before as a Gunner, collecting through the inside-left channel, working the ball on to his right foot, opening up his body to enable him to curl the ball past the ‘keeper.
The reaction of Henry himself and his celebration with his "new" team-mates and Arsène Wenger made it a special goal – and an even more special moment.
And, with that one hit, it sunk home to my son in an instant why I am so proud of the signed Henry shirt that adorns my study wall …
Tuesday
And Luke Patience is centre-stage as the first Scot to qualify for the Olympic Games. I can only assume Andy Murray must have a bye rather than having to qualify.
Patience, apart from being a virtue, is a 25-year-old yachtsman, who will compete in the 470 Dinghy class with English partner Stuart Bithell and who hails from Rhu in Argyll.
The significance of Patience’s selection was lost on a great many. Maybe it wasn’t in the press handout? Or they never listened to BBC’s Brain of Sport in the 80s.
But 104 years ago – in 1908 – the Olympic Games came to Scotland, in the shape of the 12-metre yacht racing, staged on the Firth of Clyde, the only Olympic event ever held here.
The gold medal was won, over two races, by a crew entirely made up of Scots. A good angle into the Patience stuff, as it was for Doug Gillon in the Herald.
Wednesday
I won’t try and better the headline on David Hendon’s Snooker Scene blog, that "It Was 30 Years Ago Today".
But in snooker terms, events at Oldham Civic Centre on 11 January 1982 were as significant as Roger Bannister's sub-four minute mile run at Iffley Road, or Garfield Sobers smashing Malcolm Nash for six 6s in an over.
Steve Davis was already the world champion and would, over the decade, set all sorts of records. But that night in Oldham in the Lada Classic (don’t laugh), Davis made his mark in the history books by compiling the first officially ratified 147 maximum break on television.
There would be more famous – and one could easily say more glamorous – 147s over the next few years. Kirk Stevens' maximum at the Masters in 1984, following in the chalk-marks of countryman Cliff Thorburn a year earlier with his magnificent 147 at the Crucible, the first ever in the World Championship.
But it was Davis who did it first in front of the cameras – albeit because, a few years earlier, the technicians and cameramen took a tea-break which coincided with a perfect frame from John Spencer, who ironically provided the opposition to Davis on his momentous evening.
There have been 85 official 147s made in tournaments, a great many of which I have either seen live, written about, or watched on TV.
Davis’s remains special, as to this day, it is the only one I’ve watched on a black-and-white portable. And even watching it again on YouTube, I still cry "No" when he leaves the cue ball directly above the pink.
But, just when it all looks like going wrong, Davis came up with a magical recovery to secure a magical sporting moment …
Thursday
So no sooner than he is made a Scot, Steven Shingler and Scotland find out he is ineligible to play for any other country than Wales, according to the International Rugby Board.
The 20-year-old London Irish fly-half was named in the Scotland Six Nations squad by coach Andy Robinson, believing the uncapped back was available for selection through his Dumfries-born mother.
But Shingler's appearance at full-back for Wales at under-20 level meant that he could only represent them at international level.
Scotland say they will appeal. However, surely the lesson here has to be is that if you are going to fish in the genes pool, make sure you don’t have to throw back what you think you’ve caught.
I suppose the Welsh believe they are right. But then, they thought that when they gave Kiwi-born Shane Howarth 19 caps thanks to Welsh grandfather – who it transpired was himself born in New Zealand. Oops …
Friday
Maybe it was coincidence that they ran the story on page 13 on Friday the 13th, but the Daily Record today highlighted the demise of Rangers’ dream £350m Ibrox Project.
Unveiled 2004, it was to feature a casino, a 140-room hotel, a few hundred apartments, shops, bars, restaurants and even a rooftop football pitch. But, of course, it never transpired. What happened?
The article answers the question, although the Record would have to have donated the other 79 pages of today’s paper to answer the many questions Rangers fans would like answering …
– Tweet Stewart Weir with thoughts and comments, @sweirz
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