Timing in comedy is everything, though not everyone laughs.
The latest episode/scene in the farce/panto that has become Rangers is right up there with anything that Eddie Braben or Johnny Speight or Perry and Croft could have penned. No sooner has 34,000 of the Ibrox loyal parted with the cash for their season tickets than who should reappear on the stage but arch villain Charles Green, sparking a chain of off field events that would see manager Ally McCoist launch in to arguably the longest constructive dismissal speech in history, and by Monday, have Ibrox legend Walter Smith quit as Chairman.
Rangers – the farce goes on?
Needless to say, Rangers fans found the change in cast, and being out of pocket, anything but amusing. Green would appear like a rash over TV screens in the next few days, pontificating and pleading his case, creating more ridicule and scorn than support. That had much to do with him constantly referring to ‘that’ football club, and then claiming he only made public Walter Smith’s feelings that last season’s squad was the ‘worst Rangers team of all time.’
Really Charles? Oh to be a fly on the wall when that pair are reunited. But then, Green is the man who says he will always call ‘a spade a spade.’ Which is why for ever more, he’ll be best remembered for what he called someone from Pakistan.
Sunday
Plenty of consternation in Germany where allegations of drug abuse in athletics have emerged. Yes, we all know about East Germany. But this is about West German competitors who may have been encouraged by officials to use performance enhancing drugs and practices.
A partially leaked study alleges West Germany engaged in systematic doping of athletes, including using anabolic steroids, testosterone, oestrogen and EPO. A case perhaps of if you can’t compete with them, cheat with them. For me, I always thought those bulging muscles and dodgy moustaches were a dead give away. And some of the men looked equally conspicuous.
Monday
The Ashes – A Foregone Conclusion?
And England retain The Ashes!
I think most people guessed the outcome of the world’s most hyped two-horse race (just edging out The Boat Race) when Alastair Cook’s side went 2-0 up in the five-match series against an average Australian side. But credit to all media outlets for trying to make the most underwhelming result of the year sound moderately surprising …
Tuesday
Those self-proclaimed, self-styled ‘ultras’ that are the Green Brigade have found themselves homeless after Celtic closed Section 111 of the stadium for safety reasons. The Green Brigade was often the source of atmosphere and ingenious banners.
Locked out – the Green Brigade?
Unfortunately, they were also identified a while ago by Celtic’s high heid yins as a liability, who believed the were above the law, ignoring repeated warnings to remain seated during matches.
“We have been left with no option but to take steps to ensure the safety of our supporters,” read a club statement. Fans will now be offered a refund or given the chance to relocate, as some have already. From Section 111 to Room 101 …
Wednesday
If you say something often enough, someone will believe it. That appears to be the ongoing belief within the SPFL on the day they announce another bunch of games have been shifted at the behest of broadcasters Sky and BT Sport. We all know television is vital to the Scottish game, given that this far, it is the only source of income.
But what happened to the ‘customer’ tag that was banded about so readily a year ago by those who wanted to give fans a say in the running of the game, especially when it came to making the decisions they didn’t want to be seen making (i.e. Rangers)? It appears as if they’ve been forgotten about, even when they are, and always will be, the biggest source of funding in the Scottish game.
So while TV companies can pick and chose when they show matches, fans have no say in the matter. As a result, Celtic fans have been confronted with five kick-off time changes between now and November while In SPFL League One, Rangers have had four fixtures switched. Some day, a club will be honest and come up with that advertising slogan “We need your money, not your support…”
What is it Neil Doncaster says about improving the football experience? Maybe start by putting the ‘fix’ back into fixtures …
Thursday
The outcome of The Ashes series may be done and dusted but it hasn’t lessened the controversy around it.
Cricket – controversy over the Ashes
(Royalty Free Image from PDPics.com)
Down Under claims emerge that certain English (although probably not by birth) batsmen have been using silicon tape to prevent snicks showing up on the hotspot camera. Very ingenious Mr Bond. But surely that would be counter-productive on an lbw call if you got an edge on to your pad? As I remarked, if it wasn’t for fibreglass and silicon tape, I wouldn’t have a bat. What do you mean they are made from wood?
But making changes or trying to gain advantage through bat construction isn’t new. I recall a chat with Geoff Boycott who explained he hand-picked his blades, always looking for bats where the grain was tighter on the leading edge, and would therefore mean that an edged shot would be firmer, travel quicker, and hopefully, make it more difficult to catch. As most of my shots are played with the edge, I’ve always followed Geoffrey’s lead.
Given bowlers can rub, pick or scratch the ball, I don’t have a problem with batters trying to gain an advantage. Some said the old practice was to cover bats in Vaseline. And I didn’t even know the Pet Shop Boys liked cricket …
Friday
Staying at the Members’ End so to speak, I see Freddie Flintoff has sneaked on to the TV screens again with another advert. No, not that fashionable clothing house for reasonably-sized gentlemen.
This time he’s advertising Jacobs Cream Crackers, with Andrew (that is his name after all) turning into some kind of cross between Jamie Oliver and Tony Hart in creating a cricket scene on a biscuit. Very clever. But why has he written ‘tit’ on it? Judge for yourself …