By Stewart Weir
Saturday
I’ve always been a fan of the Le Mans 24 Hour Race, from my first Matchbox Jaguar XK, through my dad’s bedtime stories and tales, the GT40s, Steve McQueen, to the famous Gulf colours, Ickx, Bell, Rothmans, the return of Jaguar and Bentley and latterly Kristensen and the all-conquering Audi team.
The weekend saw Audi and the winning trio of André Lotterer, Marcel Fässler and Benoit Treluver clock up another victory, Audi’s tenth in 12 years, the winning margin after a day and 355 laps of racing being just 14 seconds from the second-placed Peugeot.
The most impressive stat for me was that the Audi R18, when touring at over 80mph behind the safety car, still returned 45 miles to the gallon.
I’d imagine, however, that long after the names of those winning drivers are forgotten, we might still be taking about Allan McNish’s race – or, more accurately, how it finished, and how he wasn’t finished at the same time.
It’s a crash and a half, equalled if not bettered during the night by another Audi pilot, Mike Rockenfeller. McNish was lucky to walk away, as were a few of the photographers who must have believed they were in a safe place – although that was before a car came hurtling towards them.
And while they were diving for cover, even for their lives, I couldn’t help but wonder what picture desk editor or bureau chief would be first on the phone to his man, not to ask it he was OK, but “Did you get a picture?”
I did take a break from Le Mans (several dozen, if truth be told) to do other things, one of which was to catch up with ITV4’s coverage of the Senior TT from the Isle of Man – which, because of the late start on Friday afternoon, was edited and packaged for broadcast on Saturday evening.
I steered clear of radio, internet and the likes so the winner would be a surprise – except it wasn’t, because John McGuinness, the lap record holder, won again.
ITV4’s coverage is exceptional, fronted by Craig Doyle – or should I say the ubiquitous Craig Doyle? Because in between the bikes, he even had time to pop up and advertise some double glazing. In other words, a latter-day Ted Moult.
It didn’t go unnoticed how many mentions Doyle gave to the piece of road between Brandywell and Keppel Gate, which is known on the TT course as Windy Corner. Or did he rebrand it Windae Corner?
Sunday
I’m not quite ready to take back everything I’ve said about F1 being a procession (namely, qualify first and win). But the Canadian GP was a wee bit special almost entirely because it was a big bit wet.
Bernie Ecclestone had joked (although there was a bit of menace behind it) that flooding the track might be the way to go in F1. Joking aside, while making things perilously dangerous in Montreal, it also created the most uneven playing-field – or track – of 2011.
Drivers – when they could see each other – didn’t know whether to run full wets, intermediates or scuba-diving gear.
Jenson Button won – despite making six trips through the pits – first pressurising and then capitalising on Sebastian Vettel’s mistake on one of the closing corners.
Of course, as I tweeted earlier in the week, while I wanted to see Button win, the fact he pitted or was slowed six times wasn’t such good news as it proved (to some) that you could have numerous stops and still arrive at your destination first.
And before I leave four wheels, sorry if the over-run and rescheduling of the most exciting race of the season upset the Antiques Roadshow brigade whose Betamax recorders just don’t have the capacity to record rescheduled programmes.
Earlier in the day I watched the Northern Masters, or five-a-sides for ex-professionals played in front of an audience and TV cameras. It’s not because I love the football, more to make me feel good about myself when I see how some racing snakes have swelled slightly in the last ten years.
Not a tournament goes past without one 40-something trying to perform a trick or a bit of skill they could never have done in their prime, a case of being better in their own minds than they ever were in reality.
Some of course haven’t lost it. Jörg Albertz for one, the German part of the winning Rangers line-up, and Tom Boyd, who scored for Celtic against St Mirren almost exactly 13 years to the day that he netted for Brazil in the World Cup…
And lest I forget Andy Walker, the ex-Celt and current Sky Sports summariser, whose assault on Bert “I hope to be as good a footballer as my mother” Konterman left a bit to be desired. So we’ll have no criticism of crude tackles next season Andy, if you don’t mind…
Monday
While rain was the makings of Canadian GP, it completely spoiled many people’s Sunday by causing the postponement of the Aegon Championships final at Queen’s.
I should say at this point that I realise it was not the same cloud or rain that affected these two sporting events, separated by the small matter of the Atlantic.
Still, Andy Murray turned up on the Monday to beat Jo-Wilfried Tsonga – assisted by an audacious shot - in front of a capacity crowd, with all 6,858 Centre Court tickets sold after Sunday's play was washed out. Who says everyone in London is always extremely busy?
Tuesday
I had to read it twice. But Stirling Albion are charging players to play in trial games.
I’m not sure who is the more desperate. The club, because anyone with a spare £200 could put themselves forward? Or the players, because they’ll do and try anything to stay in football?
Or is it the club again, because they are cashing in on players' desperation and status (ie employed or unemployed)? Or is it the players, because it’s an organised game and someone else might just be watching?
Four players who were invited to take part for free were those who had represented Scotland in the Homeless World Cup. Does that mean they were ex-Gretna?
Trial games take place around the country – and not all are pay-to-play. Twenty years ago, during a quiet summer’s afternoon, my former Evening Times colleague John Quinn gave Eddie Hunter, the then Queen’s Park coach, a call.
Eddie explained – although you were never sure if he was always telling you the truth and only the truth – that as part of their constitution as an amateur club, anyone turning up and asking for a trial had to be given a chance. Eddie suggested that if John wrote the story, he could say anyone carrying an Evening Times would get a game, which John duly did.
The next day, John called Eddie to see what the outcome had been.
“Oh, a great turnout,” revealed Eddie. “We had Red Indians, blokes with one leg, lassies, folk in glasses, them that were too wee, some that were too big, some that couldnae run and others that didnae want to.
“Nae use to me – but the good news is they had all bought the Evening Times!”
Wednesday
Fundraiser Lloyd Scott found himself sacked after he failed to make enough money from competing in the London Marathon, where he crawled around the course dressed as Brian the snail from the television programme The Magic Roundabout.
Scott, representing the charity Action for Kids where he worked for as their director of fundraising, had hoped to make £100,000 from his endeavours. In the end, however, he only managed a fifth of that target.
No mean feat, but not enough for the charity’s board of trustees who asked Scott to leave, stating: “He was given notice according to his contract with us, due to losses incurred in his latest marathon. Due to limited resources, like all charities Action for Kids must make sure that we make the best possible use of our limited funds.”
Scott, 49, said he was "surprised and disappointed" by the decision and that he had raised more than £5m for charity over the years.
"The trustees made their decision just 11 days after I'd finished the marathon. Anybody would deserve to be treated better."
It could have been worse, though. They could have doused him in salt…
Thursday
The general consensus is that the allocating and ballot for tickets for the 2012 London Olympics has been a bit of a fiasco, never more beautifully illustrated than this week with the news that Colonel Gaddafi’s son Muhammad had been sent 1,000 tickets.
The Games' international committee failed to expel Libya, meaning they still got their ticket allocation despite Gaddafi’s forces slaughtering Libyan civilians and being under attack by NATO forces.
Of course, it is highly unlikely that Gaddafi or his family will break cover to watch the dressage competition, or the synchronised swimming, or the marathon.
The UK Border Agency has refused to say if the members of dictator's regime would be eligible for Olympic visas, when most folk would like the answer to be a very blunt no.
But just when it looked as if Gaddafi junior had 1,000 tickets to dish out to friends, associates, partners, terrorist groups and the like, the International Olympic Committee blocked the issue, probably by doing something really hi-tech, like hiding the airmail stamp.
Maybe they were alerted to the bidding – or bartering - war that had already started on eBay. Four tickets for the men’s 400-metre freestyle final could equate to a lorry-load of bread. Tickets for the boxing finals? That could get you several hundred tons of concrete, ideal for building bomb-proof bunkers.
And what about a pair of athletics tickets for the men’s 100-metre sprint, the hottest tickets in town? Bidding started at £20,000 – or a short-term lease deal on an Apache attack helicopter…
Friday
There are those who firmly believe there is only one real rivalry in world football, namely Glasgow’s Old Firm. But dislike and hatred runs deep in many cities around the world, Birmingham being one if the news of Alex McLeish becoming the new Aston Villa manager is anything to go by.
Thousands had turned up at Villa Park to protest against McLeish’s arrival, while many more signed up to a Facebook account to vent their anger at consideration being given to a man who was, until last week, the boss of arch-rivals Birmingham City.
Given that McLeish managed to get City relegated on the last day of term, you would have thought that would have made him hero material in the eyes of Villa fans.
Such shows of dislike are not of course limited to football. Witness how Vancouver Canuck fans reacted to defeat by the Boston Bruins in the Stanley Cup final.
And do you know something? Those riots had nothing to do with what school you went to…
– Tweet Stewart Weir with thoughts and comments, @sweirz
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